Is just to love and be loved in return

Every day Paul wakes me up with the three words all women want to hear Coffee is ready.

While I am waiting for the caffeine to kick in, my eyes still blurry with sleep, we start talking about whatever the day brings into mind.  It is easy, comfortable conversations about all that excite us, worry us and ultimately, form us.

We cheerily talk away the morning until the clock reminds us that there is work to be done. It is then that we feel a little resistance to leave each other on the wrong side of the door and all the unfinished topics still hot on the table.

By the time he comes home we share new ideas, starting new conversations. Alas, they aren't finished either. They get interrupted by supper time musings, bath time banter and familiar bed time giggles.

And so the unfinished discussions pile up like the dishes and washing of everyday life, but I am deeply grateful for them. I would rather have too much to talk about, than too little. I’d rather feel a tinge of sadness when he leaves, than a sigh of relief.

All the half conversations fill me with excitement for the next one...and the next...

It is after 11 years of constantly sharing that I am finally starting to understand a little about the true nature of love.

You see, I always thought looks mattered, talents mattered and for someone who isn't a daisy chained hippie like me, money might matter. I believed chemistry was love and heartache a sign of true romance. I was sadly mistaken...very sadly indeed. I found out that the infatuation swinging you from dizzy heights is not love and a crush can fade as easily as it appears.

The real kind of love is the one that not only lasts, but gets stronger as years go by.  It is the love you see when you watch a man with a halo of grey hair, feed his wife after she had a stroke. It is the warmth you feel when you watch a couple dancing, celebrating their 40^th wedding anniversary. It is simple, pure and very very true.

This kind of love is rooted in a deep appreciation for the unique beauty of your loved one. It is a strong soulful connection that makes generous acts of love and kindness inevitable. It is thinking less of self and more of the other, but mostly of us together.

Paul taught me about this kind of love.

No. He shows me.

Every day.

For this I am deeply grateful.